Collegebound

    Once I knew where I would be attending college, I immediately applied for college-bound. College-bound is a scholarship for Hammond residents and it pays for your college tuition. They still recommend that you apply for FAFSA since College-bound can only pay for your tuition. College-bound gives you money based on how long you've lived in Hammond and they also take other factors into consideration but students can receive a maximum of $10,000 for college tuition. If you get accepted you must maintain your GPA and most importantly you have to complete 40 hours of community service per year.  For the past few weeks, I have been going to my high school every Friday to complete my 40 hours of community service and I'm working towards finishing the total hours needed for my four years. Luckily they allow you to go over the 40-hour minimum and anything over those 40 hours goes towards your next year. My brother completed his four years' worth of hours during his freshman year just so that he could get it out of the way and I am trying to do the same. Even though I am so tired of going every Friday, I know that it will all be worth it when I no longer have to worry about completing the hours. 

My Weekend

 

Halloween is slowly arriving, and this past weekend I went to the movie theater with my boyfriend and his brother. My boyfriend grew up watching Michael Myers movies and has always been terrified of him. I love scary movies but I had never watched these movies before. My first time seeing one of these Halloween movies was last year when the previous movie in the series came out. I thought that I wasn't going to like it and was mainly there for the popcorn and slushies. I have always loved going to the movie theaters to see new movies and enjoying different candies and eating popcorn. It's been really weird going to the movie theater over this pandemic. You're required to wear a mask unless you are eating or drinking. Everything that you were once able to do has changed over this past year and you're now required to sanitize and wear a mask. When I watch movies I always forget that it's not real life and that the actors are able to walk around without masks on, but in my mind I'm always wondering why no one has a mask on. Anyway, the movie was really good and I would definitely watch it again but if you are someone who dislikes the sight of blood then I wouldn't recommend that you watch it.

Fall Break

    My fall break was not very successful. Most people would say that it was and would have no idea as to why I feel this way. Before fall break started, I told myself that I was going to relax but I was also going to try and be productive. I was going to finish my work, study for upcoming exams, but also spend time with my boyfriend and just simply find time to do absolutely nothing. Instead I found that on Friday and Saturday, I completed my work and for the rest of my break I did nothing. I did manage to spend time with my boyfriend and I also spent a lot of time with my parents. All throughout this break, I had the constant reminder in the back of my mind that I needed to at some point force myself to study. Was I successful? No. Sadly, I spent way too much time catching up on shows that I haven't been able to watch and I started to watch Squid Game. 

I began to watch the show just to see what all of the hype was about. I soon found myself wanting to go on to the next episode and this cycle continued. My boyfriend and I would facetime and watch the show together instead of doing our work. I felt really guilty about not studying and not being proactive. I feel that college breaks are not actual breaks. Sure you don't have to go to class and you aren't being assigned work or anything but you still have to think about any exams coming up or even a quiz. When you were in elementary school, middle school, and even high school, any sort of break was a great break because you genuinely didn't have to worry about upcoming exams or things that you need to study for. You got to spend your time doing nothing or being with friends the whole time and there was no guilt. I wish that I could go back in time and go back to the days when I had no responsibilities and my biggest worry was that I had to do chores or little things on my mind like missing my friends.  

Time

I feel like there are so many things that I need to do but just not time. Every time I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to do things, I think about my intro to nursing professor. She says that sometimes we all wish that we had more time but if you go into the settings on your phone and look at your screen time, you’d see that maybe you would have had more time if you didn’t spend it on your phone. I feel like I truly get distracted being on my phone. I often feel myself reaching for my phone but then stopping myself just so that I don’t waste time. If I don’t get distracted by my phone, then sometimes I even find my own thoughts distracting me. I start to think about something I forgot to do or a due date that’s slowly approaching. I’m no longer focused on what is in front of me but now I’m worried about something that I must make time to study for. I have never considered myself a procrastinator until now that I’m in college and have multiple assignments that need to be completed for the week. I find myself finding excuses just to not do my work. On the bright side, I am starting to get better at focusing and finding what works for me.

Note: This was a free write that I did in class so this was just what happened to be on my mind at the time. :)

Studying

    I recently realized that I have found myself learning more and more things about myself. One of the things that I realized was that I hate studying. All through high school I don't think that I ever truly went home and studied for an upcoming test. I always thought that my classes were easy and the material was never too hard. I could easily look over the material the day of the test and I knew what I was doing (most of the time). I think something that really influenced this was the fact that I had these classes everyday and after reviewing the material for so long, I was confident enough not to study. Now that I am in college, one of the biggest transitions so far has been studying. Of course I decided to become a nurse so now I realize that I have so much to remember. The materials are not something that you can look at for 30 minutes before taking the exam and seamlessly remember. I have been trying to find new ways to study but I found that making flashcards is probably my favorite way to do so. 

I don't hate the act of studying but I never have the motivation. I have a really hard time trying to convince myself that I need to get up and study. I often find myself getting anxious just thinking about all of the material that I need to start remembering and I freak myself out just thinking about how I'll ever fit all of this into my brain. Once I have actually motivated myself to study, I just love the feeling of knowing that I have actually remembered all of it. There is this feeling that I get once I have mastered the material, I get this satisfaction of knowing that I successfully did something right. It might sound weird but its the only part that I actually enjoy about studying.